Warning – this technique will NOT turn you into Uma Thurman…

So, a few of you were asking “Emma, what on EARTH is this 5 finger rule you are harping on about”

Well, young disciples… (fyi - by the way that is the hardest word to spell, took me 6 attempts to get it right and I love spelling) I shall tell you..

Not to be confused with the “five pointed palm exploding heart technique” famously seen on one of the Kill Bills (I think it was the one where that birds eye got popped out and trod on in the caravan…

GET THAT UMBERELLA SPOKE AWAY FROM MY EYE YOU MANIAC

(sorry, just had visions of being in town surrounded by old ladies wielding vicous umberellas when it starts to rain, im petrified someone will one day poke out my eyeball with it)… but, I digress..

Yes, not to be confused with the FPPEHT (cant be arsed to write it again) as it doesn’t let you a) murder anyone in one of the best ways possible, b) allow you the power to break out of a buried coffin with just your knuckles or c) turn your feet into utter monstrosties.. (I don’t care how much you wiggle your big toe love, its not going to make it any prettier)

No, the 5 finger rule is much more simple and easy than that and is guaranteed not to inflict pain on anyone (unlike a game of “mercy” also involving using your fingers and something which I kick ass at when I play with the boyf)

MERCY

…back in the room Sewell…

So, the five finger rule – in its simplest form is a tool I use to cheer myself up. And you can use it too. That’s it, it makes you smile, drags you away from the edge of the cliff/step ladder/train bridge (whichever metaphor you want to use) and makes you realise that life isn’t that bad, that there are good things going on and also makes you realise the areas of your life that maybe you need to put some work into..

Start by choosing 5 areas of your life which are important to you

(mine, in case you wondered are; family, love, friends, job and my body)

These can be anything….don’t focus on things you are unhappy about just pick the 5 most IMPORTANT  things to you..

Then, put your hand in front of you with your fingers down and clenched.

(either hand, maybe you only have one hand, so just use that one.. obvs)

Now.. start with the first category…if it is at a good stage in your life lift your first finger..

(eg ; say “love” if your love life is pretty darn good, and I don’t mean because you had a tiff about skidmarks in pants or not buying you flowers, lets get some perspective here people!) then raise your first finger in front of you) you don’t have to even have a boyf/girlf, if you are happily single like I was for a good few years then this also counts!

Then follow with the others. For an area that isn’t going so well at the moment, leave your finger down.

Now, once you have done all 5  - look at your hand.  – right in front of you

Usually people have 3 or 4 fingers up, right in front of them. This is your life!

Your life is good right…!?!

NOW STOP FOCUSSING ON THE ONE OR TWO FINGERS THAT ARE STILL DOWN AND BE GLAD, GRATEFUL AND HAPPY THAT THE ONES THAT ARE UP ARE UP!

I felt the need to shout this at you as some people drive me potty, always focussing on the negative in their lives. Anything that goes wrong becomes a whole dramatic “woe is me” situation and I cant abide it. Lets all remember the good that goes on in our lives, and (not getting too preachy here, im an atheist, I have no hidden agenda) this is what we should be cheery about.

Whenever I am feeling down or a bit sorry for myself (and im not perfect, Christ I had a big old snotty cry last night over practically nothing) I do this and by god, it reminds me that I am not that bad off and pretty darn lucky.

Try it now… if you can raise even 2 fingers then you have a lot to be grateful for.

Disclaimer - And, if by any stretch of the imagination you can only raise 1 finger (or god forbid none) then please remember that this techinique is NOT certified by the British medical board, I hold NO medical qualifications and you can’t sue my ass for making you feel worse, I will however offer to come and talk you down from the step ladder..

Happy fingers!

Emms

p.s – the reason I invented this (and I’m not going to take it on Dragons Den, I cant see Sainsburys stocking it next to the Reggae Reggae sauce and me and Levi going on tour around shopping centres together) is because (here’s the honest bit) I suffered BADLY with that horrid over used and mis-understood word “depression” for much of my early twenties, I was one of the people that annoy me so much now, instead of using pills, I decided to face it and deal with it myself. This is a simple thing to do but by god it works for me. I hope it can do the same to you.